In the End....

Good 'ol Rosie

We've come to my final blog post. At the beginning of this project, I wondered why there seems to be such a huge decline in chivalry as a whole. What made it run screaming back to the last century? Lazy guys, a lack of traditional manners lessons from parents? Then I thought that maybe the cause was a single parent issue.

As it turns out, the cause seems to be none of the above. Partway through the research, I discovered two things: there's not a wealth of information out there on the subject, and the information that is available suggests that feminism did away with chivalry. It was a bit of an a-ha moment for me, because it does make perfect sense. Ironically, the blog that set out to figure out why women don't see a bunch of guys going out of their way for their comfort and welfare anymore turned out to be a blog about how we screwed that up for 40 years straight.

I've asked my own fella his thoughts on this. I gave him a choice: did chivalry spasm out and flat-line because the young man is a self absorbed lazy creature with no real influences left with which to learn from? Or, did women decide that feminism was a point to be proven, not realizing that men would dump us in the dust for fear of losing a limb?
He responded: "It died in part with feminism. But I don't think it's completely gone; it's very situational. But ya, you guys beat it into us for so long, if I see a woman struggling with something I'll help - unless she's powering down the sidewalk on a mission with a death look in her eyes. Then I cross the street!"

It's funny how many how many theories I went through before I rested on my own gender as the responsible party. I can totally see it though - millions of women saw an opportunity with the influx of their presence in the workplace to assert themselves elsewhere. An "I can do it myself" and "I don't need a man" initiative was launched to cut the ties between the perceptions of the time. One of my sources for this post was a survey I presented on Facebook.(Survey) Of the responses, an overwhelming number agrees that feminism did indeed kill chivalry, although not an intended casualty. You can see the survey results below. Feel free to take it, and see the results when you're done!


My Survey 

My second source is my absolute favorite in this project. It sums up what I have been thinking, and that is: Do women really want to sacrifice the pleasures of someone taking care of them for an illusion of equality? Equal by whose definition? And for how long?
The periodical is written by Kathleen Parker for Newsweek. (Parker) It goes deeper on the issue, suggesting that women have had it all wrong for decades, and "instead of trying to be equal to men, we've been trying to be men. Like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole." (Parker) She also talks about a trip she was on in Abu Dhabi, where she met with middle eastern women who told her that it seems that American women enjoy being women less than they do. There's an eye opener.

I'm a sort of feminist myself, where workplace is concerned. Not the "I am woman hear me roar" type, but I spent a lot of years in a male dominated job. A few saw my presence as nothing more than changing society, others would verbalize their outrage at such a stupid thing. I called it the sudden death of the good-ol-boys club. Eventually we would all be friends, because my mission wasn't to prove that I could do what they do, it was to have the opportunity to do what I loved; if they would have me. It's all about attitude.

For one department I was hired into, I was their first female firefighter.
That was a nervous first shift for sure - 18 men from barely shaving to silver scruff looked silently down the truck bay at me that first morning, while I made the longest walk of my life 200 feet to the time clock. Turns out the chief had told them the new guy was starting that morning. He failed to mention the new guy was a girl. Oh, the phones must have been blowing up all day....

Turns out we had a great time on our shift together. They taught me how to rope a fire hydrant from a moving wheelie-chair between fires and heart attacks, and I taught them to bake. That was Oklahoma 12 years ago, and I still keep in contact with a lot of them now. New Guy Acceptance Mission: Accomplished.

I really think that we as women need to re-think how we view independence. Of course we all want to be seen as the smart, capable little things that we are, but a bit of Fred Astaire never killed a girl.  I'm the epitome of women doing things women don't do, yet I absolutely love when my husband opens the car door for me, pulls out my chair, and insists on carrying everything. He's a good catch - the genuine article, a Fred Astaire. Can't we have our own identity and still enjoy a little good ol' fashioned chivalry? Yes, Please!

We also don't need to be this

We don't need to be this

Sources:
-Survey. "Do you think that the feminist movement starting in the 1970's contributed to the decline and eventual death of chivalry?"  created at SurveyMonkey.com. Web. Amy Grice. 2012

-Parker, Kathleen. "Born again Feminism." Newsweek. 00289604, Vol. 157, Issue 11. Web. 14Mar2011

The New Rosie