Did feminism kill chivalry? I think it's not just possible, but likely. I've been sifting through research for hours, trying to find some guy's opinion on the matter. Seems they only have an opinion via video, so that's what we're going with today.
This leads my mind to wonder, just as I did in the beginning: Is this a "thing" anyway? Then I saw YouTube. Jackpot.
My husband is a pretty chivalrous guy. He doesn't go out of his way to baby me like a princess, but he generally acts like a gentleman. He opens doors, walks on the street side of the sidewalk, (okay, that's because I'm a car magnet) and he always does the little things like waiting for me to order first in a restaurant, steps ahead to open doors, and helps me put my jacket on if he happens to walk by while I'm chasing a sleeve in circles. I figured we had done something right when I saw my son dash ahead of a woman at a store and open the door for her. (Win!)
We've not hit him over the head with chivalry training, so I suppose he has learned by example, which is cool. Especially when Mom's a bit of an "I'll do it myself" chick.
If feminism killed chivalry, it was surely unintentional. The question is, how bad is the damage? From what I've seen, it's like a train wreck. On a hillside. During a firestorm. However, my views have changed from an assumption that men today are oblivious to common courtesies to one where I totally understand the confusion and in some cases, simple absence of example. The feminist movement began in the 1970's, and those chicks weren't kidding. The pants-suit revolution that followed ultimately paved the way for big things, such as women in combat, equality in pay, and a curious but awesome creature now known as the Stay at Home Dad. Do we need a new movement to un-do the tightly wound spring of feminism?
Sources:
My sources for this blog post were reached in the wee hours of the morning, while the dog snored and people started peddling useless objects on tv in the other room. I mention this because in the beginning, I did a quick search on Google and was bombarded with more material than I could ever dream of on the subject of deceased chivalry practices. This was followed by reality; once the rules of engagement were clear, (No Google) I was left with about 3 articles, and two of them were written sometime around the start of The Civil War, or the birth-date of Nancy Pelosi, whichever is older. This post was the lucky recipient of video clips, because it seemed to be the only source I could find on the issue among young males.
The first video is from an Aussie chap obviously well ahead of his years in the art of chivalry, with the sense of humor box checked. I think that his video is a good example of a young guy aiming at other young guys. Most men older than him would likely find this information to be nothing new. At any rate - still a cute little thing with a good message.(Some Casual guy)
The second video features a woman named Christina Hoff-Sommers, who answers the Feminism vs. Chivalry debate with simple logic. (Sommers) She seems to have a fairly well thought out view on feminism and chivalry, that lends a hand to all of those poor confused guys out there. I think she's right - let's not confuse them.
The last video is another male point of view. Unlike the young Australian kid, he seems to draw from a ton of experience on being schooled by the feminist. This guy seems a bit on edge, and I would be willing to bet he has not a single ounce of love lost for the feministic female. Sounds like he's been slapped across the mug a few times, but he echoes what the woman in the above source says: WAKE UP and smell the chivalry ladies! Severe and tragic cases of feminism have the direct result of men not sure how to act. We clearly cannot have our cake and eat it too. (Chapin)
Enjoy.
This young fella knows what he's talking about...
A lady's point of view.
This guy is pretty passionate about feminists...(starts after first 45 seconds)
Works Cited:
-Some Casual Guy, Upload. "How to be a 21st Century Gentleman." YouTube. YouTube, 19May2008
-Sommers, Christina Hoff. "Chivalry and Feminists." YouTube. YouTube, 18July2008
-Chapin, Bernard. "Chivalry or Feminism?" YouTube. YouTube, 22Sept2011
I think that it's really rather likely that feminism killed chivalry, since they're essentially competing ideas. Feminism strives for women to be the exact equal of men in society, so chivalry, a set of proper things that men are supposed to do for women, directly opposes this. By feminist logic, why should one sex be expected to do something, but the other not? I think that just being polite should replace chivalry in the era of gender equality. I hold the door for people regardless of their gender, I offer to let other people order before me at restaurants, etc. Gender equality means gender equality to me me, and that goes toward the special privileges that both men and women used to receive.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree; we should all be expected to just be polite. The only reasonable exception I can think of is between couples. That kind of chivalry should never die. A man has nothing to lose by going the extra mile to treat his lady special.
ReplyDeleteI think it is sweet when a man will open a door for you or help you carry the bags. I'm a lot like you I'm a do it myself kind of person. I think it takes a lot longer to wait for someone else to do something that you could have just done yourself. I dated one guy who was all about being a gentleman. At 28 years old he held doors, opened doors, let me order first, asked me what I wanted to do, and so much more. One night we went to the gas station and he opened the car door for me while holdig the bag. When I reached out and took the bag from him he had a look of surprise on his face. Later he told me he never had a girl offer to take the bag so that he could drive. I think it's not only about men being polite and showing respect but also about women. We should be exected to do the same thing after all we do want to be consideredf equals in this world.
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